the ones that got away

"Infants in elf costumes sprinkle our News Feeds; some enterprising and sadistic parents actually dressed their children as turkeys at Thanksgiving; and a few years ago, my Instagram was awash in diamond ring close-ups on Christmas Day. Meanwhile, mine featured a photo of me looking pleased as punch to have received a One Direction beach towel. Single childless people are simultaneously aloof — sure that we’d sooner die than marry and mix DNA with Jeff from AP French class — and nagged by the sense that maybe we’re doing things entirely wrong, because, frankly, dressing a baby like a turkey seems delightful."

More from Alana Massey's ode to hometown friends here.